A diagnosis!


With what you ask? Hashimoto’s. Which, to be honest, sounds like the name of a Japanese Steakhouse. Yummy. But not. Because it’s an illness silly.   And I am so happy you guys. Finally there is medical proof that what I have been feeling was not in my head. Finally people believe me. Finally I am not fighting this on my own.

So let me get medical on you now and tell you what Hashimoto’s is. I’m sure you are on the edge of your seats right now. This truly is riveting stuff. But I digress…Hashimoto’s is an autoimmune thyroid disorder. Basically my body is attacking my thyroid gland as if it were a foreign invader. This is something you are born with, so apparently I have been sick much longer than I thought. Great news! Not.  So while my body attacks my thyroid, I go hypothyroid. Which means that I don’t make enough hormones to live, become exhausted and just ready for the grave. But the good news is my body goes hyperthyroid when I try to fight the attack. So, my poor little thyroid tries desperately to sputter back to life. When this happens, I make too much hormone and have too much energy, lose weight, become jittery and my heart races.  I’ll tell ya, I like the weight loss symptom. I don’t get to enjoy that too often though, hypothyroid settles right in and switches that up!


So I am basically on the worst roller coaster ride of my life. I swing back and forth from hyper to hypo, and it just ends up exhausting me, depleting me, and frustrating me.


How did I find this out? Long story short : My thyroid felt enlarged to my doctor. This, by the way, proves that I am sick. I was so excited that my thyroid felt enlarged to my doctor, I almost mustered up the energy to cartwheel. But I kept it in check. They already think I am crazy, No need to confirm that!

So my painful, swelled thyroid enlarged enough for me to be sent for an ultrasound. After sitting in a dark room as a woman rubbed warm goo with some sort of sonic spatula, I went home and fretted. If this ultrasound didn’t show anything, I for sure would not find what was making feel so unwell. it would once again be back to the drawing board. I anticipated the heartbreak.But rest assured, my doctor called me in a few days and told me that there were 6 nodules on my thyroid gland. Success! ( see how warped this sickly is?) Nodules are abnormal cells in the body that form lumps. One of these nodules was larger than 1 centimeter. When this happens, they send you to get a biopsy done.

On the phone, my doctor said one of the nicest things. she told me ” you only needed someone to believe you.” I almost cried right than. It was so true.  Then this weight I have been carrying rushed like water to my feet. I felt relieved. And alive for the first time in a long while.  Maybe I could let down my guard and stop fighting this monster alone?

The biopsy was scary and terrible. Because, hello, they are putting a needle in your neck into a nodule on your thyroid gland. Multiple times. My doctor went through 4 times. That was enough tissue cell for the pathologist. And lucky me, my doctor was tall. Which means, he had to pump my bed up to the highest level possible. This meant that if I tried to hop off and escape, I would break an ankle. So I was well and truly stuck. Lovely.


The results of my biopsy showed no cancer, yay! But it did show macrophages. Again, another foreign word in need of human translation. So sorry for disturbing your brains. You need not worry about these medical things. But if your are curious, read on. Macrophages are large white blood cells. They ingest foreign particles and infectious microorganisms. So basically this proved that my body was attacking my thyroid gland. Because there should no way be macrophages loitering about your thyroid!


So how am I being treated? Can I get better? Soon?

That, dear readers, is something I can not answer.Yet. My fantastic ( detect the sarcasm?) endocrinologist is away on vacation. He said whatever is wrong can wait until he gets back at the end of September.  Patience is not a virtue of mine.


But I hope this new diagnosis means I will be feeling better soon. I hope this means that I will soon be able to get off of my branch and join the beautiful world I have been admiring for far too long. It will be nice to flap these old wings of mine. I hope so.


Any advice acquiring patience? If i can become a patient person, I think I might feel like I have a super power. If anyone has every heard of Hashimoto’s, drop a line. I would love to hear what you know.


I wish you all a good and healthy sleep, plus a productive and happy day. Maybe one day I will join you!